Anal sex is another topic we get a lot of questions about. The anus is full of nerve endings and highly sensitive so stimulation of this erogenous area can produce explosive orgasms for both men and women. An orgasm from prostate stimulation may be the most intense a man has.
This article takes a new look at anal sex including the history of anal sex, common myths and misconceptions, how to talk to your partner about anal play, anal sex positions, and the three rules of anal sex.
The History of Anal Sex
Toys and movies specifically designed to enhance anal sex, websites talking about anal sex (over 9 million pages dealing with the search terms "anal sex" on Google), and even the number of times BetterSex.com's definition of Anal Sex gets searched every day points to the fact that anal play and anal sex are becoming more accepted in today’s society.
Some people still rail against any attempt at using the anus for fun and pleasure as being somehow wrong and dirty. The term sodomy was coined by St. Peter Damian, a Roman Catholic Cardinal in the 11th century as a reference to the injustices visited upon 2 angels sent to find "10 good men in the Village of Sodom," a town spoken of in Genesis Chapters 18 and 19.
This "fire and brimstone" attitude on anal sex was evidenced in the Lawrence versus Texas case of 2003. In the Texas case, the US Supreme-Court finally overturned decades old legislation banning any sort of what was coined "non-procreative eroticism" around the country. The court's ruling was based on the 14th amendment holding that "the Texas statute furthers no legitimate state interest which can justify it's intrusion into the personal and private life of the individual."
3 Misconceptions of Anal Sex:
The following excerpts are all from questions we get on a regular basis.
"I heard that anal sex hurts!"
Anal sex may be uncomfortable if improperly performed. If you take your time, go slowly and use lots of lube anal penetration can be delightful.
"Anal Sex is not sanitary."
Taking a shower before anal sex cleans you up and gets you ready, and is also a great opportunity for you and your partner to jump start the session.
"I heard it's not safe using toys anally"
Cleaning your toys after each use is a great idea anyway, and is especially important because bacteria that reside in your anus can be harmful.
Be sure to use anal toys with flared bases because the anus is made up of 2 sets of sphincter muscles that can squeeze and release involuntarily. Make sure any object is smooth and be sure to use plenty of lube.
How To Have Better Anal Sex...
Considerations:
You can't get pregnant having anal sex. You can still get stds, so we recommend the use of condoms.
The most important rule of anal sex may be: If it hurts, stop!
Tip 1: "The Sandwich Method"
The "sandwich method," first introduced to us by one of our experts Midori, is a good way to introduce anal sex. The "sandwhich method" is the idea of adding new concepts and toys sandwiched between your tried and true sexual routine. Remember, turnabout is fair play. Guys, if you freak out at the thought of having something stuck in you, you may want to reconsider asking your partner to allow you to stick something in them.
Tip 2: Lube, lube and more lube!
The anus does not self lubricate and is more delicate than the vagina so make sure your partner is well lubricated and that you slowly, and gently, proceed. A silicone based lubricant, such as silicone based lubes, are a great choice for anal sex since they doesn't dry out nearly as quickly as water based lubes.
Tip 3: Getting into Position!
Unless they asked to be penetrated anally, most likely your partner is doing this for you; the least you can do is make it as easy and fun for them. This means making sure your partner is in the most comfortable, and most empowering position for them.
Our Favorite Anal Sex Positions Include:
Anal Missionary: The best anal beginner's position since it is the same as the missionary position, except entering your partner anally.
Anal Doggystyle: The same as the regular doggystyle position except entering anally. Anal doggystyle gives great access for the "reach around," meaning stimulation of your partner's genitals with your free hand.
Receiver On Top: Hesitancy can be assuaged by having your partner on top controlling the encounter.
From the origins and history of anal sex to dispelling the taboo and mysteries surrounding the negative connotations associated with this beautiful and wonderful aspect of sex, we hope you use these anal tips and information to explore with your partner in an open, safe and healthy way.
If you have any questions or comments about this article or want to share your own anal tips, techniques and/or stories, please e mail us at suggestions@bettersexrevolution.com.
