Better Sex Revolution

Better Sex Valentine Tip #2

Slow Down or Speed Up

Sex, like music, has a tempo. Too slow and sex is boring. Too fast and sex is chaotic and overwhelming. Sex is also very individual, so what is too fast for you may be too slow for your partner. Communication is always key.

One good general rule about tempo is to slow down. Try to look at your partner's body like you've never seen it before. Explore it and find new nooks and crannies, count to a thousand, recite baseball statistics – in short do anything you can to slow down.

There are times, however, when speed is a good thing. Speed as you move over the cliff of stimulation toward inevitable release of orgasm can be a really good thing. If your partner shouts FASTER, then by all means pick up the pace. Sex toy manufacturers know that speed is a good thing. Most build multiple speed options into their toys.

Better Sex Valentine Tip: Seduction

Seduction doesn't just happen in the bedroom. In fact, if you wait until just before sex you're already too late. Seduction isn't tearing each other's clothes off (not to say that doesn't work in a pinch).

Seduction is about mood. Set the mood early by being nice. Find something you like about your partner and tell them. Focus on how sexy, romantic and kind your partner is and reward those random acts of kindness.

A day before or maybe the morning of your better sex Valentine's Day, send your partner a sexy voicemail, email, IM or junk the technology and leave a good, old-fashioned handwritten note on her pillow. Remember that this note is setting the mood, so be sure to tease and inspire while being specific enough that your partner knows where to meet you and what to wear (if anything).